


Stars

by Monochromely



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, diamond days ruined me!!!!, hello hello!!!, i love these two with my entire heart n soul!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 07:32:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monochromely/pseuds/Monochromely
Summary: Back on Homeworld, Yellow and Blue Diamond talk about their hurts beneath the stars.





	Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, friends.
> 
> I am dead.
> 
> Deceased.
> 
> "Diamond Days" was _extraordinary._

“I hurt you.”

Because it’s Yellow, it’s a statement, an irrefutable fact, carved into veracity by the force of her surly voice alone. There are ninety-four Topazes in the Royal Guard. Between the both of them, they own seventeen colonies and have harvested many moons besides. The sky is blue. Their world is slate gray. _I hurt you._ Amber light from the chamber behind them glances off the sharp planes of Yellow Diamond’s face, forcing all of the lines and shadows in them into revelatory definition.

The crease between her golden eyes tells Blue that she’s ashamed.

“You were afraid,” she whispers. On the balcony, their pinky fingers brush lightly against each other on the smooth, quartz railing, yellow meeting blue, warmth meeting warmth, electricity pulsing where the striations of their digits align.

The night is electric, too, humming with stars.

They whisper celebrations tonight.

Last night, and the night before that, and six thousand nights before, there had only been hushed admonishments.

_You broken creature._

_You monster._

_You shouldn’t have done that._

_You should have loved her more._

“ _But I hurt you_ ,” Yellow insists, like it’s the end all be all of the entirety of their relationship. “I blasted you with the intent to poof you and almost succeeded! You would have been gone for months, years, maybe even _decades_! I—” She can’t go on, choked, so she slams her other hand against the balcony instead, miraculously not chipping the stone.

“You hurt me,” Blue admits quietly (not because she wants to, but because the other Diamond _needs_ her to).

“I _did_.” Yellow’s striking features crumple into geometric relief, lines collapsing and drawing together and making her appear far older than her considerable years.

 _You finally get it_ , she says without saying so much as a single word. 

_I hurt you._

Blue’s body had almost fallen apart as lightning lines raced along the invisible pressure points in her body.

They came close to touching her gem.

They snarled around her hard facets and longed to tear her apart.

She burned.

Slowly, she _charred_.

Blue Diamond sweeps her long hand away from Yellow’s—Yellow looks like she thinks she deserves it—before slowly bringing it up to the other Diamond’s face, the lifelines in her smooth palm curving around the harsh angles of her golden cheek, her cerulean fingers softly demanding attention.

“And I hurt you,” she says simply as her thumb catches a single tear that escaped the relentless general’s attention and control.

Yellow Diamond stops breathing beneath her touch, frozen, statuesque.

Sculpted in tender agony.

“That’s”—her lips barely move—“that’s besides the point.”

“But is it really?” Blue asks, and when she doesn’t receive an answer, makes up one for herself because she’s _good_ at making things up.

Pretty gems and blueprints for intricate buildings and scapegoats to blame for her own mistakes.

“I attacked you, and you blasted me, and you told me to stop grieving for thousands of years, and I never quite cared to pay attention to the fact that you were grieving yourself.”

“ _Blue_ —”

The stars seem to hum, _More, more._

Burning bright around them.

Hungry.

“And so I hurt you, and you hurt me, and we hurt Pink over and over and _over_ again until she felt like she had no choice but to pretend to _shatter_ herself to get away from us.”

_More._

“And White hurt us, and we just recently threw Steven in prison, and we have shards on our hands from millennia ago and yesterday and today, and…” But Blue closes her eyes instead of finishing and lets the sentence trail away into the gathering dusk, her sudden fervor fading just as quickly as it had come, descending into a weariness that tugs at her very gem.

She wants to collapse into the space between Yellow’s neck and collarbone, wants to rest her head there for a minute or an eternity—whichever comes first in this lifetime.

But she restrains herself.

Opens her eyes and lets them shine bright with her tears.

“And?” Yellow prods quietly. Her golden fingers have twisted themselves into the fabric surrounding Blue’s waist, finding purchase there, support.

Yellow is warm beneath her touch.

Vital and striking and _here_.

_More._

“And,” she murmurs, pulling her thumb across the line of Yellow’s sharp cheekbone, over and over, memorizing where it begins and ends and ends and begins, “I don’t think there’s such a thing as taking those hurts back.”

The finality of the sentence relieves as much as it scalds her.

They’ve done too much.

To each other.

To others.

Shards on their hands, in their eyes, on their souls.

The stars are silent in confirmation.

“Oh,” Yellow Diamond whispers in painful realization.

“Oh,” Blue Diamond agrees, finally giving in and resting her chin against Yellow’s shoulder.

Golden hands tremble on her waist, but they don’t fall away.

_I’m broken._

_I’m a monster._

_I shouldn’t have done that._

_I should have loved her more._

_But._

The stars burn above them.

Flashing.

Hungry.

Whispering secrets.

Telling stories from eras long ago.

Ten millions of silvery goddesses with their eyes on _them_.

_But._

They twinkle.

_But._

They insist.

_But._

“ _But,_ ” Blue bites her lip. Hard. Yellow’s golden hands have moved up the column of her back now, pressing against her silvery hair.

There is a sense of urgency in the touch.

Desperation.

They’ve scarcely been so vulnerable with each other in six thousand years.

Sometimes, it hurt Blue to even look at her.

Sometimes, when she could drag her mind out of its own mire just long enough to breathe, she wondered if Yellow felt the same.

“But what?” Yellow’s voice is strangled and weary and sad.

 _But_ , the stars whisper, a little sad, a little angry, a little fond.

“But I also believe that Steven gave us a gift today,” she says softly into Yellow’s neck.

Immediately, almost _hopefully_ : “And what would that be?”

Blue closes her eyes and watches Pink Diamond pirouette across her vision, her head tilted back, caught in the middle of a silent laugh. She rises to the tips of her toes and crashes delicately on her heels as she sweeps across the corners of Blue’s mind, humming and laughing and spinning.

It could have been just yesterday.

It could have been today.

It is neither of these things.

It was so many years ago.

_Time._

“Blue?”

Yellow Diamond’s chin scrapes the crown of her head.

She opens her eyes.

“Ten thousand more tomorrows, Yellow,” she murmurs, “to learn how not to make the same mistakes all over again.”


End file.
